After these emails I asked Gina if we could talk on Pm and we did. I want to share part of the PM so maybe we can try to understand where Gina is comming from…..Please remeber this ia a very raw conversation .
There are a few breaks in the PM that are taken off . These were about her goals for weight loss and some very personal issues I as a mom will not post online in my blog. But the bases of the PM are here and you can see what was said., If you have any questions feel free to email me.
I chnaged her screen name to XXX because it is her last name…
:00 PM): I use this , hello Amy
AmyB159 (1:56:13 PM): Ok…
AmyB159 (1:56:19 PM): Hey there
XXXXXX (1:56:37 PM): I am sorry, I really am, but now I am scared
AmyB159 (1:56:54 PM): well let’s talk and see if I can understand better
XXXXXX (1:57:04 PM): ok
AmyB159 (1:57:08 PM): but I am going to tell you this up front
AmyB159 (1:57:17 PM): I do not really like you mom
AmyB159 (1:57:19 PM): I am sorry but it is how I feel
XXXXXX (1:57:25 PM): I know
AmyB159 (1:57:29 PM): and if you are her and playing with me
AmyB159 (1:57:33 PM): then that is your bad and it will all come out
AmyB159 (1:57:43 PM): but if you are a young girl who has gone to far
XXXXXX (1:57:45 PM): no, I am not
AmyB159 (1:57:48 PM): then I am here to listen
AmyB159 (1:57:55 PM): cause I am a mom and I care
AmyB159 (1:58:00 PM): so I am trusting you for right now.
AmyB159 (1:58:07 PM): so let’s see what we can do to get to the bottom of this
XXXXXX (1:58:07 PM): look Amy, I made a mistake, it went too far
AmyB159 (1:58:17 PM): you need to tell me everything ..all of it
AmyB159 (1:58:26 PM): if you want me to help you clear this up
XXXXXXX (1:58:45 PM): ok, what do you want to know that I did not tell you
AmyB159 (1:59:16 PM): well…first..how did all of this get started? I mean how and why?
XXXXXXX(1:59:33 PM): the blog thing?
AmyB159 (1:59:55 PM): my understanding is this started in Jan with 2big right?
XXXXXXX (2:00:10 PM): yes, in January
AmyB159 (2:00:23 PM): can you tell me why?
XXXXXXXX (2:00:33 PM): my mom was saying that people in that thread were being mean to people who were still at kimkins
AmyB159 (2:00:51 PM): ok and
XXXXXXXXX (2:00:52 PM): It started to defend those people
XXXXXXXXXX (2:01:16 PM): but I thought I was a bad ass, its easy on the interent
AmyB159 (2:01:34 PM): yes it is and that happens to many of us online
XXXXXXXXX (2:01:47 PM): but then 2 big got my IP and that scared me
XXXXXXXX (2:01:55 PM): so the lies started as to who I was
AmyB159 (2:02:29 PM): Ok and then you went away for a while..right?
XXXXXXX (2:02:38 PM): yes, my mom told me to drop it
XXXXXX (2:02:44 PM): stay off all blogs
AmyB159 (2:03:56 PM): okay…what made you show back up?
XXXXXX (2:04:19 PM): the infighting , I was again trying to be a badass
XXXXXX (2:04:44 PM): then the other Amy put up dereks picture and profile
AmyB159 (2:04:53 PM): you kind of forgot about being scared and started back again, right? AmyB159 (2:05:00 PM): This is very important…
XXXXXXX (2:05:00 PM): yes, it had been months Some personal talk about why she felt protective about Derek..
Xxxxxxxx (2:05:48 PM): I am backing out of her blog
AmyB159 (2:07:05 PM): Now you decided to get back involved. You kind of forgot what it is like to be scared,right?
XXXXXXXX (2:07:15 PM): yes, i did forget
AmyB159 (2:07:22 PM): that is easy to do.
AmyB159 (2:07:42 PM): Now tell me this..what does your mom know?
AmyB159 (2:07:59 PM): because I can not imagine she is pleased with you
XXXXXX (2:08:09 PM): she knows pretty much all of it now, except that i am talking to you XXXXXXX (2:08:23 PM): no , she is mad
XXXXXXX (2:08:33 PM): for me going on the blogs m ostly
AmyB159 (2:09:22 PM): Ha..sorry I have to laugh..she would be really mad if she knew you were talking to me.
AmyB159 (2:10:27 PM): I think what you have done is nothing that bad
AmyB159 (2:10:33 PM): you got carries away
AmyB159 (2:10:35 PM): we all have
XXXXXXX (2:10:39 PM): yeah
AmyB159 (2:10:41 PM): me included
XXXXXXXX (2:11:09 PM): ok, i know
AmyB159 (2:11:13 PM): first…do you really know who I am
AmyB159 (2:11:15 PM): I mean
AmyB159 (2:11:21 PM): from my blog, and pics?
XXXXXXXX(2:11:25 PM): oh, yes
AmyB159 (2:11:28 PM): Ok
AmyB159 (2:11:38 PM): so you know I am not always sure of myself either, even as adults we still make mistakes.
AmyB159 (2:11:40 PM): right
XXXXXXX (2:11:41 PM): i know you from another site too
XXXXXX (2:11:44 PM): yes
AmyB159 (2:11:46 PM): Ok
AmyB159 (2:11:47 PM): good
AmyB159 (2:11:59 PM): I think..the only way you can end this and be done is this
AmyB159 (2:12:09 PM): tell the truth all of it
XXXXXX (2:12:16 PM): ok
XXXXXXX(2:12:25 PM): but i am going to be in so deep here
AmyB159 (2:13:06 PM): deep with who..your mom?
XXXXXX (2:13:10 PM): yes
AmyB159 (2:13:24 PM): Gina..is that what you want me to call you?
AmyB159 (2:13:28 PM): Your mom knows
XXXXXXX (2:13:31 PM): gina is my real name
XXXXXXX (2:13:33 PM): ok
AmyB159 (2:13:35 PM): trust me
XXXXXXX (2:13:37 PM): yes, she knows
AmyB159 (2:13:37 PM): she knows
XXXXXXXX(2:14:31 PM): i always thought you were good, that is why your posts there scared me AmyB159 (2:14:43 PM): I thought you were your mom
AmyB159 (2:14:47 PM): and wanna know something
XXXXXXXX (2:14:52 PM): i tried to be i guess
AmyB159 (2:14:53 PM): I do not even know your mom
AmyB159 (2:14:57 PM): but
AmyB159 (2:15:00 PM): I know Heidi
AmyB159 (2:15:06 PM): and she has been cruel to me
AmyB159 (2:15:09 PM): and my son
AmyB159 (2:15:16 PM): and that is Heidi
XXXXXXXX (2:15:23 PM): so you see something that i did not see, heidi
AmyB159 (2:15:32 PM): Heidi is awful
XXXXXXXX (2:15:34 PM): i think my mom does not really see it right
AmyB159 (2:15:37 PM): plain and simple
AmyB159 (2:15:43 PM): wanna know something
XXXXXXXX (2:15:46 PM): yes
AmyB159 (2:15:47 PM): this is honest
AmyB159 (2:16:06 PM): I miss being at KK
AmyB159 (2:16:08 PM): I do
AmyB159 (2:16:16 PM): I miss feeling the rush I had there
XXXXXXXX (2:16:23 PM): i think you said that before on fwk
AmyB159 (2:16:24 PM): I felt at home there
AmyB159 (2:16:34 PM): and I thought Heidi was real
XXXXXXXX (2:16:41 PM): that is howmy mom feels tol, she told me that
AmyB159 (2:16:44 PM): and when I saw she was heavy I did not care
AmyB159 (2:16:50 PM): I was heavy
AmyB159 (2:17:01 PM): I felt ugly
AmyB159 (2:17:12 PM): I could of been Heidi
AmyB159 (2:17:27 PM): but Gina she accused me of being respoible for my son’s illness AmyB159 (2:17:32 PM): did you know that?
AmyB159 (2:17:39 PM): That is fact
XXXXXXXX (2:17:39 PM): no, i didn’t
XXXXXXXX (2:17:57 PM): ok, i didnt know that was true
AmyB159 (2:18:08 PM): a blog up that said I had mental disorder where I caused Philip’s medical issues AmyB159 (2:18:17 PM): My son who has fought to live
AmyB159 (2:18:30 PM): one day you will be a mom and you will know what that love feels like XXXXXXXX (2:18:31 PM): i know about your son, i read his site, i am sorry
AmyB159 (2:18:38 PM): and you know what
AmyB159 (2:18:46 PM): I feel sorry for your mom
XXXXXXXX (2:18:51 PM): that is why i emailed you the first time what?
AmyB159 (2:18:53 PM): because she is a lot like me
XXXXXXXX (2:18:54 PM): why
XXXXXXXX (2:18:57 PM): ok
AmyB159 (2:19:02 PM): she wants to belive in heidi
XXXXXXXX (2:19:06 PM): she does
AmyB159 (2:19:10 PM): I see your mom has lost a lot of weight
XXXXXXXX (2:19:15 PM): she has
AmyB159 (2:19:21 PM): I bet she is proud of herself
AmyB159 (2:19:24 PM): and she should be
AmyB159 (2:19:27 PM): but you know what
XXXXXXXX (2:19:27 PM): she is happy, yes
AmyB159 (2:19:30 PM): YOUR MOM
AmyB159 (2:19:33 PM): lost that weight
AmyB159 (2:19:36 PM): not heidi
XXXXXXXXX (2:19:54 PM): after reading alot of what is said on that blog, i see it more yeah AmyB159 (2:19:58 PM): I have a feeling your mom and I could be buddies on any other site XXXXXXXX (2:20:12 PM): probably,yes
AmyB159 (2:20:25 PM): but when your mom tells Heidi she wants to “beat me up” and then Heidi sends that to me
AmyB159 (2:20:35 PM): how can your mom think Heidi is anything but bad
AmyB159 (2:20:39 PM): see what I mean
AmyB159 (2:20:45 PM): this is not about your mom
XXXXXXXX(2:20:48 PM): she said that? i havent asked her yet
AmyB159 (2:21:01 PM): well Heidi said your mom said that…
AmyB159 (2:21:07 PM): and that is silly
AmyB159 (2:21:10 PM): but the point is
AmyB159 (2:21:19 PM): if your mom said it mad
AmyB159 (2:21:21 PM): so be it
AmyB159 (2:21:28 PM): but Heidi came to me with it
AmyB159 (2:21:35 PM): Heidi is like that
XXXXXXXX (2:21:35 PM): i cant see my mom saying that
AmyB159 (2:21:44 PM): well you know your mom..I do not
XXXXXXXX (2:22:01 PM): did she say it or did heidi say it?
AmyB159 (2:22:16 PM): Heidi said your mom said it…
AmyB159 (2:22:18 PM): so see
AmyB159 (2:22:26 PM): I have no idea if your mom said it
AmyB159 (2:22:30 PM): BUT the point is
AmyB159 (2:22:34 PM): Heidi said she did
XXXXXXX (2:22:35 PM): what if she really didnt? i want to ask her , ok
AmyB159 (2:22:44 PM): and your mom supports Heidi
XXXXXXXX (2:22:48 PM): so heidi is using my mom?
AmyB159 (2:23:06 PM): Gina..I am open to talking to your mom anytime.
AmyB159 (2:23:20 PM): I am a nice person…unless someone lies and pretends to be someone else AmyB159 (2:23:40 PM): so…back to you..
XXXXXXXXX (2:23:47 PM): this is sort of scary to me. would she really use my mom against me or anything? AmyB159 (2:23:54 PM): Ummm…yes
AmyB159 (2:23:59 PM): 100% yes
AmyB159 (2:24:12 PM): she sent me a book about a mom who tries to kill her son with faking medical illnesses
XXXXXXX (2:24:14 PM): i think i need to talk to her soon, i wish i never heard of kimkins AmyB159 (2:24:17 PM): Heidi is evil
XXXXXXXX (2:24:32 PM): is taht the book on your blog?
AmyB159 (2:24:34 PM): Gina..your mom is not going to want to hear what you say..you know that AmyB159 (2:24:38 PM): yes it is..
AmyB159 (2:24:46 PM): do you have weight to lose?
AmyB159 (2:24:50 PM): just curious?
XXXXXXXX(2:24:53 PM): ok, i dont know what to say to her then, I am very fat myself
XXXXX (2:24:59 PM): 258 now WE talked some private diet talk here…That I took out…it had nothing to do with any of this.
AmyB159 (2:26:49 PM): now back to you
XXXXXXX (2:26:52 PM): yes, send me the link please, i hate being so heavy
AmyB159 (2:26:52 PM): your mom knows
AmyB159 (2:26:57 PM): the ducks know
XXXXXX (2:26:58 PM): yes, she knows
XXXXXXX (2:27:01 PM): yes
AmyB159 (2:27:02 PM): period
AmyB159 (2:27:08 PM): so lets fix this
XXXXXX (2:27:11 PM): ok
AmyB159 (2:27:12 PM): as well as we can
AmyB159 (2:27:18 PM): you write me a email ..
AmyB159 (2:27:23 PM): in depth
AmyB159 (2:27:27 PM): as long as you need to
AmyB159 (2:27:35 PM): explain from the beginning to end
AmyB159 (2:27:37 PM): all of it
XXXXXXX(2:27:43 PM): ok, beginning of jan?
AmyB159 (2:27:46 PM): how you felt and why
AmyB159 (2:27:47 PM): yes
XXXXXX(2:27:49 PM): ok
AmyB159 (2:27:53 PM): and how it got out of hand
XXXXXXX (2:28:11 PM): ok
AmyB159 (2:28:11 PM): all of it
AmyB159 (2:28:14 PM): come clean
AmyB159 (2:28:17 PM): ALL of it
XXXXXXX (2:28:20 PM): ok
AmyB159 (2:28:30 PM): because if more comes out afterwards then it will not work
AmyB159 (2:28:37 PM): BRB..Kids
AmyB159 (2:30:05 PM): you said you worry about your mom and KK
AmyB159 (2:30:13 PM): you need to mention everything you spoke about here
XXXXXXX (2:30:15 PM): i really do actually
AmyB159 (2:30:20 PM): then say that
XXXXXXXX (2:30:24 PM): she doesnt eat enogh
AmyB159 (2:30:32 PM): Then you need to say that to her
AmyB159 (2:30:40 PM): do you know my health is awful
AmyB159 (2:30:45 PM): I lost 95 pounds
XXXXXXX (2:30:47 PM): not really
XXXXXXX (2:30:58 PM): yes, i know you did great,
AmyB159 (2:31:08 PM): and struggle to not gain eating a apple
AmyB159 (2:32:20 PM): so…take a few minutes and email me …long..honest and in detail..be careful to not leave anything out or lie.
XXXXXX (2:32:43 PM): ok, yes
AmyB159 (2:32:49 PM): I am adding you to my aim
XXXXXX (2:33:06 PM): ok, you are making me feel better, thank you
AmyB159 (2:33:10 PM): now go get started
XXXXXXX (2:33:14 PM): ok, thank you
AmyB159 (2:33:18 PM): Gina..just tell the truth
AmyB159 (2:33:26 PM): go get started..I will watch for the email.
AmyB159 (2:33:32 PM): it will be okay..
XXXXXX (2:33:33 PM): i hopes so, i feel horrbile
XXXXXXX (2:33:37 PM): thank you, ill do it now
AmyB159 (2:33:44 PM): and if your mom wants to talk..I am a email away..
XXXXXX (2:34:02 PM): ok
——-Original Message——- From: XXXXXXXXXXXX
Date: 10/26/2008 3:12:26 PM
Subject: I am Gina
Amy, I am going to tell you what I was thinking when I decided to become Dana. I am not looking at any timelines, so I don’t know the dates. It was January when I decided to go to some blogs because I had been reading the FWK threads for a long time, and I thought there was mean spirited stuff going on. My mom does Kimkins, and she followed it sort of on LCF before joining the site. I support my mom,( Deb294evr) in her weight loss efforts. My mom loves Kimkins and likes Kimmer too. I hear one side of the story, where she is very nice, then I go to the threads and she is being called the devil. I don’t understand. I am 20 years old, my name is Gina and I am a college student. I work at my college in work study at the same place my mother works. We talk about the site, but I am not a member, I only want to support my mom. So I go to the blogs and leave some bad ass messages as “Dana”. I felt great getting my message out, which really isn’t my message, but what I hear from home. I also read some of the old ask Kimmer stuff and see that it didn’t seem so bad. Then I ran into 2Big. she looks up my IP and tells me I am working for some professor that I do not know. I figure she might contact my job and get me into trouble, so I tell my Mom about it. She tells me to get off the blogs and stop what I was doing. I did stop that for a long time. I then saw AmyB being talked about very hurtfully on the FWK threads that had to do with Kimmer doing things to her, and she showed some things on her blog that got my sympathy. I decided to get my new screen name GinaStevens44 when I had decided Kimkins was maybe not so good. I posted in the FWK thread a few times about being in WW, and about some things about Kimmer, trying to blend in. I really wanted to contact AmyB and I did. I wrote her an email,and I think I commented in her blog, I don’t remember. I did not tell my mom because she was still very pro KK, and still is. I really did try WW but I was a failure, like in most diets I try. I am still very fat. I am not afraid to say I am fat, because I am. I have tried every diet, but on the internet you can be whatever you want to be. After my WW failure, I tried Kimkins and failed at that. I never joined the site, just went by what was in the LCF archives and what my mom was eating. That kind of put me back into the pro KK frame of mind. I read the FWK threads every day. I am fascinated with it. I just did not understand why everyone was being attacked on the newsletter. I saw Dee being attacked, and the other lady with thin hair. Then Derek came along. I said this already, but he is very cute. I honestly am not in any way connected to Derek, ( wish) lol. Right as his profile comes on the FWK thread, I feel all badass again and head to 2Big’s blog, but she had not written anything about him, so I looked for the latest comments and went in there. It got out of control. I was being what I wanted to be, a successful dieter who was losing weight and eating what I consider Kimkins. I wanted to stick up for Derek, but also for everyone who is on the site still. My mom knew nothing of this until Prudentia blogged about her and I being the same person. We are not. She did find out though, after I did. I had to tell her and she was angry. I got scared when so many people started attacking me and my mom. She did not do anything in there, she has not posted anywhere that I know of in a long time, but she was getting blamed for what I did. I am afraid for her myself, she does not eat very much. I think she is eating more healthy than some did, but I would starve on that. Anyway, I had to come clean when the entire family got on to me. I also got scared when Amy, who I think is a nice person, and trustworthy, started talking mean to me. That is frightening when a bunch of people gang up on you. Especially when I am young and I will admit stupid in this. I did not start out trying to hurt anyone, only to support my mom. That is really all. I got out of hand with my bad ass persona I had invented, and I am very very sorry I ever did that. I am sorry that any words I said hurt anyone, I never ever thought it would leave 2Big’s blog. Boy was I wrong. I will never post on any blogs again, and I am thinking of leaving LCF and never reading those threads again. That’s about it, I am confused and scared, and I hope everyone leaves me alone now. Thanks, Gina
In closing I want to say a few things. As a mom my heart felt a tug talking with Gina today on Aim. I am not sure if I understand her or what she has done. But I do know that the person I talked to seemed very scared . I hope that she sat down with her mom today and had a long honest talk.
Gina ..I meant what I said to you today about healthy weight loss. I will follow through with what I offered to you. I am all about a young girl losing weight the healthy way. If I can help you with that vs you ever thinking of doing Kimkins.con, I am more then willing to help.
I understand that your desire with trying to help Derek and yes he is handsome. But you work on getting yourself healthy and more confident and in wonderful shape and you will find your Derek. I promise.
Gina..I want to believe you are not Deb294er. I even felt myself starting to “get” your mom today after talking to you. If you are not Gina the 20 year old daughter. Then I tried my best and I feel good about reaching out to you. So in my heart I did the right thing.
One last thing. No matter how I feel about your mom and her relationship with Heidi Diaz. You put her in a bad place. I know things got out of hand but make this a lesson learned.
And Deb294er. I tried very hard to treat your daughter today the way I would want you to treat my daughter. I did not post any personal info that would hurt embarrassed her or give away your last name. I would appreciate if you would contact me and let me know that you know about this and that you indeed do have a daughter name Gina. I am sure you want to clear this up also.