AmyB: Food For Thought

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of AmyB WOE

Amy B ….Rambles on May 13, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 6:48 am

It is a new day and I am working on a new way.  Yes I can be a poet too.  Ha

I went to bed last night frustrated with non other then myself.  I had to have a self talk and figure out why I allowed myself to be dragged into a NO WAY TO WIN fight yesterday into the late night. Is this what I wanted my day to be about yesterday…NO.  Did I do anything to stop it..HECK NO.

I am not and will NOT back down from the KK issues.  I woke up this morning to a very honest PM from LCF and in this PM there were the words that clicked with me…it reminded me of why I feel so strongly about this whole KK drama.

I did not do KK for a week, a month ..I started KK before even the fraud with WW was announced.  I sat in threads and wanted to be just like Heidi.  I wanted to look like the lady in the red dress.  So much so I allowed myself to FOOL myself.  I see the pictures that Heidi used and I think I am not as upset with her and I am myself.  How in the world did I allow myself to LIE daily that all the anti KK people just wanted to hurt Heidi.  Am I one of those people now…maybe…did I join this to hurt Heidi?  NO.  But I find myself very angry with her daily.  When in truth it is myself that I am mad with.  I feel like in some ways..I sold my soul to get thin.  Was it with it?  Well I look in the mirror and some days I see one person and feel like another. 

I am not backing down from my issues with KK.  I am not going to say that everything I do is handled perfect.  I never said I was perfect.  I am just one small person in a big fight to make sure the truth comes out and no one else gets hurt or worse.

 I have taken more from Heidi and her crew then many of you know….but one day soon…it will all become more clear. I think those who come over and fight her battles for her…are just doing what they think they need to do.  Just as I did when I stayed for so long.  I seem to recall that I spent some time being asked some hard questions when I was at KK.  Now that I am gone..I still have to answer some hard questions.

I have never once spoken about Heidi and her hair or clothes or face or size or anything else.  I have spoken about her fraud and her morals.  Anyone who knows me..knows I am not a mean spiteful person.  I have wanted to get to goal for years…and this year was the year…and yet today I weighed even further away from goal.  I placed a pic of myself and Heidi in my blog.  I posted about my lack of getting to goal .  I never said haha look at me.  In fact I said just the opposite. I wanted Heidi to show how far she had come and that it was okay to not be at goal..just to keep working toward it.  Is that the whole truth?  Umm…no.  I also wanted to see a updated picture.  There..I said it.  I bet many of us want to.

I did not humiliate Heidi.  I did not slap her when she was down.  I did not call her out and everyone else that has not reached Goal.  Once again I can not seem to get to goal.  And I find offense that my blog was a slap in everyone’s face that has not reached goal.  Plus…today I am beginning to think getting to goal is only half the battle.

I have shaken the hurt and anger off and today I am going to work on my OTHER goal.  I am going to work on picking a flower.  Because no matter how much I bang my head against the wall..I know some listen and they leave.  That is why this is so worth it for ME.


2 Responses to “Amy B ….Rambles on”

  1. katinsac Says:

    That’s what you need to do now Amy..pick flowers, follow Atkins and forget about goal. It will come off if you just follow Atkins and not think about it. I’d take your weight anytime and not complain, goal or not! lol All of our goals right now should be picking flowers and trying to help those who do not know how dangerous that WOE really is.

    I know some say do your research, not everyone is that smart. They see a diet that looks easy and hear the stories on the site of people who are successful and jump right in. No doctor, nothing. Just desperate to finally lose the weight. No idea of the dangers down the line.

    In defence of them, the diet now is not as bad as the original and if they tweak it unknowingly, they may be OK other than developing an ED due to the low amounts. Probably better than the heart problems, etc., though.

    Keep up the fight, you were admired over there and many listen to you like they did christin.

  2. 2big4mysize Says:

    keep picking flowers.
    The realization for Kimmer that her plan didn’t produce the results she thought it would given 7 months she has been working on it are quite painful if she has any feelings about not making goal.
    Seeing Cleochatra shedding more weight eating those wonderful Atkins plan foods she has been posting pics of has to be eating away at Kimmer too knowing potential customers are seeing Cleo drop more weight in less time and enjoying better tasting healtheir foods doing Atkins. Lots of facing the music for Kimmer on her birthday besides the fact it was the big 50.

    You didn’t hurt Kimmer the facts and her actions hurt her.

    Now As to your diet give DH the scales, clean out your closet of clothes too big for you, and then allow your current clothes to tell you how well you are doing with your new Atkins.

    Yes you are going to add pounds of new healthy muslces from the larger amount of protein in your diet. Sounds funny writting that cause is protein based but since it doesn’t have adaquet fats in it those proteins were being used as your glucose needs for body energy and not for growth and repair.

    The nice thing about the added muscle tissues are they will need more fuel to keep them healthy so more of your foods will be used for basic body needs requiring more of your body fat to make up the difference in total caloric needs.

    However thast means you got to feed your body cause even doing Atkins if you don’t eat enough then you don’t have adequet fats in the diet and your body will feast on your body proteins which means muscles and organs are being eatten daily. YUCK!!!!
    Then you add the nice exercise part of the Atkins to tone up those muscle tissues and burn more cals in your daily total then Kimkins did and poof you are becomeing a smaller healtheir lade even if the scales don’t move.

    I can’t recommned enough getting your body fat percent checked. I chased a scale number based on BMI and height weight and ran right by healthy stopping goal weight for me. I was struggling with scale numbers and not seeing how small my body was getting. I was so ignorant of how little I was I got pissed off at my little nephew for showing me pics of what I thought were him and my skinny cousin at an event I had attended with him. Finally I ask where was the pic of him and me on the church steps and he fished through the pile of pics he had already shown me and said here it is. I was shocked that was me and I wasn’t that 300+ pounder but a skinny 14% body fat person even though the scale numbers said I was still overweight based on BMI and height weight charts. So as you morph AmyB grow those lean body tissues, repair your body and shed body fat. You will be amazed at how you fit into those smaller sized clothes at a bigger scale weight. I was a size 10 at 178 pounds. One of my friends was a size 10 at 146 pounds and couldn’t believe I weighed that much.

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