This week leads up to my dread week….many who know me…know that the week before my birthday is a hard one…always. Last year my DH made a innocent comment joking with me. He said I wish you had a place to go a week before your birthday and come back afterward. Little did we know that Philip would end up in the hospital in critical condition with 3 brain operations….we spent 3 weeks in ICU ..yep 2 weeks before my birthday. Last year I had the best birthday gift ever. My son lived and is home driving me crazy ..lol .
Seems I am not the only one having a birthday this weekend. Yep…Heidi is having one also. I will be 40 and she will be 50. Wow..when I see it like that it shocks me. Heidi and Amy B..share a birthday weekend and are only ten years apart in age. Somehow if I did not know better…I would think Heidi and I were not so close in age. I think back to my past few years and wonder if I have gotten to where I thought I would be or should be by age 40….the answer is kinda yes and no. More on that later. How about you Heidi? Are you in a place you thought you would be at age 50? I have a feeling 50 will be a birthday you do not forget anytime soon.
Age is a odd thing. I wish I did not care so much about how old I am. But I do. I do not think 40 is old at all. I think 40 is when you see so many people come out of their awkward shell and seem to be put together. Maybe I just am to feeling put together yet. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe I need to just get over it….my gosh Amy it is just another day. Let it pass. What will change from Sunday to Monday? Well nothing…but ummm….ssshhh…yes…I will be 40…plus one day..ha. I know that sounds silly…but true.
I think my main issue is…I had visions of being thin and pretty and everything being perfect by age 40. Why did I think this? I have no idea. Each birthday I would kind of lay teary eyed as I went to bed and think…wow next year I will be …….and ………and for sure this or that. Well this year’s birthday is 6 days away. And I am not at goal. I KNOW I KNOW I so know..I need to remember where I came from. And I do. But I seem to of fallen off track since KK issues. I plan to do a separate blog about that this week. I do not want to skim over it here. It is too important of a lesson to get lost in this….
I have so very much to be thankful for. I have been married for 21 years to the same man. We have home and food . We have been blessed with 4 children. My days are filled from teaching to drive to potty training..and all the stuff in between. And as many of you know….we have been giving the miracle of raising Philip. A man young man who has more strength in his pinky then many of us. The list goes on and on.
So…….what is it that I think or THOUGHT I needed before I hit 40? hummm