And no I am not talking about my weight goal.
When I started this blog ….I did not know what direction it would go. Some days I feel a lot of anger with Heidi Diaz. Then other days I have a nagging gut missing my threads feeling. I have been assured that feeling will go away , the longer I have in Kimkins detox. So I trust in that. One thing that does not seem to be going away is the deep feeling I have of why I stayed and what I needed that had me stay. I SEE so many of my friends that stay and I Can not fault them. I stayed also. I also would still be there if I had not been blessed enough to be banned. So why do we stay?
I know for myself …I stayed because it felt like home. Everyone knew your name …and they seem to like you. Ha. It was comfortable and easy to be there. Near the end I stayed in 3 threads and never even logged on to the regular site. I miss my threads and my friends there. And no it has not been easy. Some of those Friends have reached out to me in other groups. One in particular has never posted again at Kimkins since I and Slick got banned. She showed what she was made of. And that means more then she knows. The ones who e-mail often….I love to hear from them. But most have gone on their merry way and seem to be doing great. So who am I to even think they should leave? They are grown women , very smart, educated and well over the age to make their own decisions. Why do I care of they stay or not? Is it because I miss them ? Yes I miss them. But that is not the reason I have this nagging feeling. Is it that I want to hurt Heidi? Well I am mad as heck with Heidi. But that is not the reason for the nagging feeling. Then what is it?
I want every strong minded person that is still at Kimkins to do what I was not strong enough to do. I want you to show Heidi that it is not okay to be lied to, made a fool of, live in drama and chaos. It is one thing to lie about you weight. Was Heidi wrong to do that? Yes she was. Did I care that she was well over 300 pounds. To tell the truth ….no. I felt bad for her. I knew it must be hard for her to be that size and have to lie daily about her real weight. And even harder to see women like myself and many others really lose the weight with her plan. Something she was not able to do. That alone would of made me back away from the table and lose the weight. But Heidi did not and that is her personal issue , not mine.
What is my personal issue is….the way she would guilt people to do what she was not able or willing to do. How could she fault people for eating a extra bite of broiled chicken when she herself was eating as much as it takes to maintain a weight well over 300 pounds. The idea of fasting ….I got that from Heidi. I tried to do that. Why? Because Heidi did it and she weighs 118 to 122 pounds and has kept it off for 6 years. Those are her words on Jimmy Moore Interview. Take a few minutes and listen to this interview. Now that you know the truth. Listen to her words and see how it makes you feel. It makes me mad and sad. I just do not understand how someone can lie and sound so truthful.
So Amy B’s goal is to reach some of you…you who are still at KK. I want you to really know the truth . You can trust me. I want what is best for all of us. This has not been easy for any of the people who left ….I had no idea how hard it would be. But there is a great support team here to help anyone who needs it.
Once again Singinglass….I saw that you had stopped by my blog. So have you noticed how nice the messages to you have been. Everyone is reaching out to you. You have to know that things are really bad for you. Your boss has every agency there is and more watching her, freezing her accounts, news stations , PI’s. Almost like working for the Mafia. Do the right thing….step away while you can. I promise you…Heidi would take your life vest to save herself. You know the truth and by staying it can only look like you approve and support Heidi.
I have a invitation for Heidi or Singinglass. Do you have something you want to say? I would love to give you the stage to do it. You can use my blog as a way to say what you want to. Get your message out and heard. I doubt Heidi will do this, but you are more then welcome. Maybe singinglass ….wants to set the record straight. Maybe we have it wrong and she wants to explain to us how we are wrong. I welcome you to open up the conversation here .