AmyB: Food For Thought

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of AmyB WOE

First Day Of Picking Flowers…. March 31, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 7:46 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Today has been a very long day . I spent all day dealing with some medical issues for my daughter. Imagine my surprise to come home and see so many e-mails and blog comments. It makes all of this so worth it. Thank You all for reading my blog and taking time to comment. I hope I can help in some small way in such a big battle. I thought this morning about what I had named my blog “picking flowers”. I love that there is a place for everyone in this fight to truth and health and common sense. Some are best at finding weeds, some pick the weeds, and my goal this week is like I said…to pick flowers. The flowers are the ones left at Kimkins that deep down are wanting a way out. And know what….it is working. I had three e-mails from ladies who are planning and have left Kimkins. You know who you are. But what you may not know….I am so excited for you. I know how hard it is to take that step. And you are stronger then me..you left on your own. I also wanted you to know I am here for all of you. I may not have all the answers..heck I seem to have no answers for myself some days…but I will listen and we can figure it out together. One thing we need to all be reminded of…we are not alone…there are many who have gone before us. And after talking with them….I know they want to help each of us.

Heather….I hope you do not mind me sharing this…but I think it shows just how special it is that you were willing to share your story with those who read my blog.

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Amy,

WOW! �That was extremely emotional for me to write. �I didn’t realize how many feelings I still had bottled up in me. �I feel a little vulnerable right now after sharing all that, but I know that you will treat me kindly! LOL
Heather.
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I had a few e-mails where there was a concern that I had been harsh with the ladies on the front page of Kimkins. I thought about that today and I do not agree. The ladies on the front page are suppose to represnt Kimkins. And for some of them they do just that.
Heidi Diaz…..My gosh…it does not take a genis to figure out that she is a fraud. I listened to her day after day…..feeling like I could never live up to her standards of losing and maintaining weight loss. I even had thoughts and attempts to do water or diet coke fast. Yes I know some will say how stupid that is…and yes I know…and I agree. But I bet I am not the only one.
Singinglass…what else can I say. She has not posted in her journal for 5 days and maybe that is a good thing. Yes she has posted the simple hey post . But nothing of importance. I know this is far fetched but makes me wonder. One of two things…either Heidi Diaz put Singinglass up to being a ” new LCF poster” or Singinglass has turned on Heidi. Now do I think that has happened. NOPE . Because Singinglass is a do whatever Heidi wants person. But know I wonder? How it makes Heidi feel knowing SL came and talked smack about Heidi. She spoke of Heidi being a drunk and many more not so nice things. Then again she talked smack about herself aslo. That is just plain weird. Either Heidi is furious or she told SL to do it. And who in their right mind tells someone to go and do that? Opps..did you catch that? IN THEIR RIGHT MIND….that is the answer right there.
Now LauraLa…Just to remind you of yesterday’s post in my blog.
Re:Laura’s Journey 8 Months, 2 Weeks ago
Good Morning….On a better note, I have lost 4 more lbs…doing K/E. I have been under 600 calories each day! I am very snatty though. Very Very nausea! I hope everyone is well. Im doing K/E all the way to Onederland~!
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Re:Laura’s Journey 7 Months, 4 Weeks ago
Happy Humpday Gals…….I think this Season with my cheerleading is going to push me to my limits. I worked out with the girls for an hour and this morning I was spitting mad when my scale read 197. To make matters worse I only had eggs yesterday, plain no nothing
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Laura’s Journey 7 Months, 3 Weeks ago
I am keeping my eating light and mostly K/E alot of chicken and shrimp. maybe a cup of lettuce here and there.
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Laura’s Journey 7 Months, 1 Week ago
Hi everyone,I was in the hospital since last Thursday. I havent felt well for months now, and we have the answers now why. I didnt have asthma, I was having congestive heart failure. They diagnosed me with having cardiomyopathy. I am devastated at this moment and now sure what my future holds. I keep saying why me? how could this happen to me?? Dont they know my daughter needs me? I will try to check back , Im exhausted at the moment and my head is spinning in many different directions. I hope all is well for everyone else here. I see everyones ticker is moving right along. Please pray for me and hope I can beat this terrible heart disease. ………
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From today…LauraLa wrote:
Okay Im still having alot of guilt and this is ridiculous already! Ive been back on track now two days and you would think I would get over it, huh? I will certainly think twice again before cheating. Did I say it was worth it? Not sure yet. Something so small really worries me because how will I ever be able to maintain? I am freaking out a bit , I just enjoy food so much that I cant imagine never ever being able to have carbs again. I will have to work on a plan because I enjoyed eating on Friday, Yes I said It, I ENJOYED the food. It was so damn good.It was kinda planned cheat if there is one. SO knowing that I even feel worse that I planned it. I wanted to wait until after my last docs appt so I didnt have to weigh in. Smart huh? SO then I did it………I hate this guilt feeling.

It is making me annalize how much I am addicted to carbs and how I will never be able to handle eating them later on. I thought about the food in my fridge and pantry all day yesterday, almost convincing myself to cheat some more!!!!! Sick, I know. Its just me and my relationship with food.

I wanted to fess up because even though Im on the cover page and everyone thinks it happened so easy for me, I want people to know that its not been easy for me, and I struggle with my food addiction every day. I am human and I have cheated. And I will probably have more cheats. I cant predict my eating habits, but I can try to control them.

I feel so much better knowing that I am not hiding and sharing with you that I am who I am and I too need support.

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This post from Laurala touched my heart and made me realise we all have more in common then we care to admit. My problem is….I know deep down what type of person LauraLa seems to be. When I read e-mails that are between people and they include talk about my son…It makes me so upset. It is a shame that I know what things LauraLa has said …Lies and more lies. It also should go to show..be careful who you talk to. Even out of group..when you send e-mails..things can come back to the wrong person..The person you are talking about. A lesson hard to learn.
I have a question….if a person stays on the front page after knowing what they know…does that mean they support who adn what Heidi Diaz is and stands for? Singinglass? Laurala? Are you willing to share that?
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As for some good news..Ladies are hearing the message. The flower Picking is going well…and I am not even close to done. With permission and the promise of not saying who this is…

Hi, Amy! Just wanted to drop by and say hello. I’ve been reading your blog and posting less and less at Kimkins. I’m leaving but kinda slowly. Remember when I left several months ago but went back b/c of XXX, you, and others that I consider my friends. Well, the more of your blog I read, the madder at Heidi I get. Attacking your son? That is the lowest!
Also, I’ve been lurking over at LCF, especially the Stillman (the most like KK, I know, I know, we’ve been brainwashed!) diet. It seems there are really nice people over there. Of course, I’ve always kept up with the FWK thread and applaud the ladies that have helped bring Heidi down. I well remember when they first started and we all thought they were just jealous of Heidi and her newfound celebrity status. I could just see that sweet little pic of her sitting on her patio that one of her little “foster boys” took.
When I first started KK in spring of 07 – just before the WW came out – I remember lurking for a while and reading Heidi’s replies to some of the women and thinking that she was so mean. But the way everyone loved her and idolized her, I thought, well, maybe I’m just too sensitive. Thank God, I have never talked to her or asked or anything and she probably doesn’t even know who I am. But I’ve used that as an excuse to stay there and talk to my friends on my two little challenges and my journal. But I am suppporting her by staying there, aren’t I? I can’t stand her especially now but by staying my actions are not lining up with my words. And I feel like a hypocrite.
So, where are you posting now regularly? I just don’t want to leave and have no weight loss support group. The last time I left and my group left with me – well they went back and I went back with them.
Little snipets of Heidi’s lies keep coming back to me. Remember when she would get on to people that were drinking cream in their coffee? “It’s just a warm milkshake and you need to stop drinking it.” Or, “you don’t need to exercise to lose weight. Just look at me, all I had to have was a tummy tuck and my face looks this young b/c of Retin-A.” And she is the same age as me and that pic was of a girl in her 20’s. I ordered the retin-A the next day from Mexico.
I never had the big hair loss but at one time my arms got so tired trying to blow dry my hair and I have saggy skin on my inner thighs b/c of the quick weight loss and no exercise at the time.
I am so sorry about this huge, long email, with all you have to do with your son and all, but needed to get this off my chest. I’m so sorry about the way you were treated over there.
Write back and let me know how you are doing when you have the chance.
You and your family are in my prayers.
XXXXX
And a follow up e-mail…with great news.
I have talked this over with my dh and he told me to leave KK immediately. He said I should have left a long time ago. But I made it clear to him that I was never there b/c of Heidi, but was there b/c of people like you. We all were like a family and I do believe that is why some of our old group is still there. When I first left several months ago and tried to warn people of Heidi’s scam I actually had people tell me that they didn’t want to hear it and I was just trying to make trouble so I just dropped it. But my conscience will no longer let me stay. It is so easy to pretent that everything is alright – never even looking at the front page. I would just go stright to my journal or to my challenge, talk about weight loss and log out.
So, yes, use whatever you want, but I want to try and warn my friends that are left so please don’t use my name for now.
Oh, yeah, and that “question of the day” that sock, Gary, does, well I did look at those the other day and only like 6 people had replied. My point is that I think a lot of people are still there not b/c they believe in or trust Heidi, they have just made friends for life that they don’t want to leave and like me, they use it as a forum to just talk about weight loss with their friends. And they don’t realize that although they don’t support Heidi at all, their actions are speaking louder than their words. I know cause I was one!
Holla back when you get a chance. I know you are one busy lady!
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So ladies….I would say today was a great day for picking flowers and planting them in a nicer place.

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Picking Flowers March 30, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 10:24 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

A few days ago when I read some post on LCF about picking weeds ( which is what they call the work they do to remove the links for the fraud site Kimkins) I started thinking how nice it would be to pick some flowers. Do you know who the flowers are? YOU. They all all of you who I KNOW are reading my blog that are still at KK. You read my blog, you e-mail me, you post on Philip site. So today I am going to reach out to each of you. Like I said YOU know WHO you are.

You know that feeling you have that is nagging at you? I bet you do. Many of you e-mail me about those feelings. Instead of burying those and going back daily to Kimkins. Maybe take a minute and LISTEN to YOURSELF. IN the truth of this…who do you think would lie to you….YOUR GUT? HEIDI DIAZ? I vote that you know deep down that you are not in the right place. I had those feelings everyday. But I buried them over and over. It made me paranoid and defensive. Gosh those are not great traits to have as a women who is trying to do good and get healthy. Paranoid and Defensive is NOT healthy. Never has been, never will be. And how many of you are emotional eaters? If you are like me and a emotioal eater…then drama , chaos, lying and fraud is not a calm place to change your eating habits.

Since I got banned from KK….I have had to really see some hard reality. The truth is many people will stay at Kimkins till the end. There are no magic words…No threats…No amount of lawsuits….TV news shows..the depo….the list goes on and on. For some people there is NOTHING that can be said to cause them to leave. So why keep trying ? That has been my question to myself this last week. I guess the only answer I have is….I am not ready to give up on anyone still at Kimkins. I see so many ladies there who are worth so much more then staying at Kimkins. So I am going to let the ducks work on the weeds and I am going to pick the flowers…Kimkins Ladies are my flowers…I want to show each of them there are other places to go.

I noticed something else. So many of the ladies I read about at KK fall off plan way too often. Some gain weight and lose it..over and over. I think of they had a new start with a calm place to build long lasting supportive friendships…..they may feel more in control in many areas…including there WOE.

Since I bloged about LauraLa and Singinglass last week….I wanted to do a little research on being on the front “watch us lose”. Seems like it is just more control and hey maybe even a legal issue. I am not sure the ladies Heidi has on the front page of her site are a great example. In a e-mail I will be posting this week…Jeannie writes that Singinglass has thinned hair and wears a hair piece. In a online interview SL sounds stupid and naive when she says. Hair-loss is no big deal. Then there is LauraLa….well she is not a great example to follow…in fact she is a perfect example of what is the problem with the diet. First let me say that I am happy I can post her own words. Due to the fact that it has become VERY clear that LauraLa has spent much time in e-mails / PM about me. Seems to have a complex because I mentioned lunch one day . She felt the need to let Heidi know that she was sure I was digging for info for the dreaded Lawsuit. Paranoid behavior must be a part of SNATT.

Re:Laura’s Journey 8 Months, 2 Weeks ago
Good Morning….On a better note, I have lost 4 more lbs…doing K/E. I have been under 600 calories each day! I am very snatty though. Very Very nausea! I hope everyone is well. Im doing K/E all the way to Onederland~!
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Re:Laura’s Journey 7 Months, 4 Weeks ago
Happy Humpday Gals…….I think this Season with my cheerleading is going to push me to my limits. I worked out with the girls for an hour and this morning I was spitting mad when my scale read 197. To make matters worse I only had eggs yesterday, plain no nothing
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Laura’s Journey 7 Months, 3 Weeks ago
I am keeping my eating light and mostly K/E alot of chicken and shrimp. maybe a cup of lettuce here and there.
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Laura’s Journey 7 Months, 1 Week ago
Hi everyone,I was in the hospital since last Thursday. I havent felt well for months now, and we have the answers now why. I didnt have asthma, I was having congestive heart failure. They diagnosed me with having cardiomyopathy. I am devastated at this moment and now sure what my future holds. I keep saying why me? how could this happen to me?? Dont they know my daughter needs me? I will try to check back , Im exhausted at the moment and my head is spinning in many different directions. I hope all is well for everyone else here. I see everyones ticker is moving right along. Please pray for me and hope I can beat this terrible heart disease. ………
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Did you read Her own words? They are scary and true. And she is the front page poster girl for Kimkins. What else can I say.
I wanted to also post a letter I received . I know this was not easy for this person to write and she was gracious enough to let me share it with all of you. The reason she did this was to help reach out and show you just who Heidi Diaz is. I know we think we know….but each day it seems like there is something else added to the story.
So please be respectful to Heather when you post comments. She stepped out of her comfort zone to try to help. Thank You Heather.

Okay, I’m just going to start writing about my experiences with KK. Please feel to edit it as you see fit. Include or delete whatever will best fit your goals for your blog.

My name is Heather and I am 37 years old. I have struggled with my weight for most of my married life. In 2002, my husband and I decided that our weights were out of control and started on Atkins. By 2003, I had lost 110 lbs. I still had more weight to lose to reach my goal, but not a lot. Then I had three stressful events all hit in one week and completely derailed my eating plan. I gained back about 50 pounds, but managed to stabilize again. I stayed at that weight for about a year. Then our son was born with a congenital heart defect and required open heart surgery in 2004. My husband and I stayed by his bedside for 5 weeks until we were able to finally take him home after his successful surgery. In that 5 weeks, our weights ballooned out of control. Stress eating became a daily practice in our family.

In January of 2007, my husband resumed the Atkins plan and started to lose weight at a pretty good rate. By summer, he hit the dreaded stall. He had been listening to Jimmy Moore’s podcast to motivate him and had listened to his interview with “Kimmer”. He was very intrigued by this eating plan and started talking to me quite a bit about it. We, obviously, were not aware that Mr. Moore later withdrew his support of the plan as my husband had stopped listening to that podcast and gone on to some other topics. I had not gone back to Atkins and had not gotten the ambition to rejoin the low carb lifestyle. Our son had his 2nd open heart surgery in late October of 2007. When that was successfully behind us, Brian decided to join Kimkins in hopes of breaking his stall and I was on the brink of starting back on Atkins, but hadn’t set a date of when I was going to start. Brian’s first week on Kimkins saw a loss of almost 10 lbs. He was very excited and this had me very intrigued. Soon after joining, Brian posted a question asking if anyone had any ideas on how to motivate me to join him on Kimkins. Soon a lady named “Tippy Toes” sent a PM to Brian offering me a free membership to Kimkins if Brian and I would agree to appear on the front page of the website. It was a new campaign called “Watch Us Lose” and the purpose (we were told) was to motivate people on the site of the potential weight loss they could have. The marketing idea was Kimmer’s and Tippy had suggested our names and profiles to her since we were new to the site and just starting on Kimkins. Mind you, I had never heard any controversy regarding Kimkins, as I had never researched the plan. I just felt that it was a modified Atkins plan that cut out some of the more fatty foods (which I didn’t care for any way). I felt that if this “Kimmer” was going to offer me a free membership and all she wanted me to do was submit my picture and weekly weight to her, that was no big deal. So we agreed and I became a member of Kimkins on November 5, 2007. There was never anything signed in writing or any sort of legal binding on our part.

The first couple of weeks on the site were wonderful for me. I had very poor self-esteem as I weighed in at 356 lbs., had a 3 year old boy at home still recovering from open heart surgery, and all of the health issues that come with being morbidly obese. Within minutes of joining the site, I had all sorts of people PMing me with welcomes, encouragement, etc. I felt validated as a person and the encouraging words that others shared truly inspired me. In my first 3 weeks on Kimkins, I lost 30 lbs. I felt great. My energy level was up and I felt so good about myself. I would post entries in my journal about how I was losing so well and others would post comments about how much I inspired them. I couldn’t believe that I was actually helping anyone. I am a person that feels best when helping others, so this truly fed into this need in me. Our pictures hadn’t gone onto the home page at this time and we were getting excited about them being on there.

Then, I started hearing members talking about a story that was going to be on TV about Kimkins. I was excited to watch this show. They talked about how “Christin” and “Deni” were going to be on. They talked about them like they were famous people. I had never heard of them, as I had only been a member of the site for a few weeks. I noticed their pictures in those little cameos on the home page with their success stories. I figured that they must be some ladies who lost a lot of weight and were going to be promoting the show. I tuned in anxious to hear about it. I was shocked to listen to these two ladies share how Kimkins caused major health issues for them. I thought, “How dare they accuse the diet that helped them lose all that weight for causing health problems. They were probably sick all that time and are just looking for someone to blame it on”. If Christin or Deni are reading this, please know that these thoughts only lasted a week and I sincerely apologize for ever questioning your integrity. I was uninformed. They talked about how this Kimmer woman was actually a woman named Heidi Diaz and that she had gained back all her weight. I thought, “I don’t care. Look, I’ve lost all this weight and I love these people that I get to chat with every day.” So, the next day our pictures were put on the website. I made statements in my journal about how I didn’t care who Kimmer was because her diet worked. Kimmer would PM me often to encourage me, cheer me on, and let me know how proud she was of all of the hard work I was doing. It made me feel really good about myself. Of course, now I look back on all of this and feel like a complete fool, but I’m sharing where my head was at, at this time.

Over the course of the next week or so, I started to hear people talking about other websites that were talking about Kimkins members. “Tippy” the lady who encouraged us to join the site, suddenly left. I was starting to have a strange feeling about all of this. One day, I decided to Google “Brian Heather Kimkins” to see if we were being talked about out on the web. My eyes were opened big time! I found other sites out there talking about us and how they couldn’t believe that we were helping make money for this Heidi Diaz. That we both seemed like nice people, so why would we help a fraud. The more I read, the more I realized what we had agreed to do, was not to “inspire members on the site” but to help bring in more money for this company. I really struggled for about two weeks with this. Why did I struggle? You would think that it would have been easy for me to just leave. But I was now down almost 40 pounds and the people I chatted with on the website were helping me so much. I just knew if I left, that there would be nothing for me and that I would give up and gain all the weight back.

Finally, I had the moment that changed things for me. Heidi e-mailed Brian and I and asked us if we would write affidavits for the lawsuit she was fighting supporting the diet and showing our success on the eating plan. We wrote up our experiences with our weight loss while on Kimkins and e-mailed them back to her. She said that she would mail us a hard copy soon for us to sign to make those documents “legally binding”. Those words stuck in my head for that whole week “LEGALLY BINDING”. Why would I want to be “bound” to this woman, in any way? I couldn’t support all that I was finding out about her. I couldn’t support what she had done. I couldn’t support what she was continuing to do. I was making this woman money and it was making me sick. So, Brian and I decided that we would not sign the documents when they arrived (they never did) and respectfully ask to be removed from the home page of Kimkins.

I still wanted to stay in touch with the members I had become friends with, so Brian and I (in the meantime) had started helping “Tippy Toes” (Jeannie Baitinger) start a different low carb support website. We knew that we didn’t want to be a part of Kimkins anymore, but we didn’t want to leave without a place to go. Jeannie had stayed in contact with us through e-mails after leaving Kimkins just to see how we were doing. It was actually our idea to start a website, and Jeannie agreed to fund the expenses. So, one week after we started working on our website, we asked Kimmer to remove our pictures from the home page. Within minutes Kimmer banned us both from the site. I understood her reasoning of banning me, since my membership was contingent on me being on the home page. Brian had paid for his membership though, so we requested a refund. It did come (which surprised us!).

After being banned from the site, we used a friend’s membership to see what people were saying about why we left. I was shocked as I read a post from Singinglass in which she wrote that Brian and Heather have been dear friends of Tippy’s for years and the three of them decided to leave the site together to start their own site. Her post seemed to infer that Kimmer booted us out because she found out about this. We had known Jeannie for about a month and were not trying to make any sort of website in competition with Kimkins. We just wanted a site where we could go, invite our friends to join us, and continue to support one another. There will be no promotions or endorsements of where we are now. This post is simply written to help everyone see the influence that Heidi Diaz, and her associates, seem to hold over the members there. I am an intelligent woman with a mind of my own. Yet I stuck my head in the sand because someone was constantly telling me how great I was doing with my weight loss.

And in case you are wondering – Yes, I continued doing Kimkins for about a month after leaving the site. Never had any health issues until one night. I was carrying my son (still post-op from his surgery) down the stairs to bed when I became suddenly light-headed, dizzy, and nauseous. I almost dropped my sleeping son and knew, right then, that I had to change my eating plan. I started Atkins the next day and am still on that eating plan today. I have now lost 75 lbs. and still have over 100 lbs. left to lose. I know that the weight won’t leave me as quickly as it did on Kimkins, but I know that I will have my health when I am at goal. Today, my weight sits at 280.

Any time I am reminded of the month I spent on that home page, I am filled with remorse. I bought in to a woman who constantly showered me with compliments while lining her pockets with ill-gotten money. For anyone who saw my pictures and joined that site because of me, I am sorry. If you are currently on the “Watch Me Lose” page, you should know that you are being used. Whether you realize it, or not, you are supporting a fraud. By being there, you are using your image to advertise a diet that is extremely dangerous. I have nothing to gain by sharing this except to possibly help others. Amy will attest to the fact that I am not a person who talks badly of others. I do not gossip or backbite. What I WILL do here though, is share the truth.

Amy, I hope that this helps you in revealing the ugliness of Kimkins. Thank you for asking me to share my story.

 

Let’s Just Get Blunt March 28, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 10:04 am
Tags: , , , , ,

I had considered the title Let’s Just Be Honest…but I have a feeling that may be just too much to ask from some. So Let’s be blunt.
I am over being talked about like I am some kind of idiot, mean spirited, angry, back stabbing, Jellyfish, Vulture..the list goes on and on. Now if you happen to see a certain word on there that you have used about me in the past few weeks…yep I know. And since I know and now you know I know…I can tell you I am over it. I have played nice . I have protected certain people and as I am doing that..They are sending PM’s and or e-mails saying how awful I am or how unfair I am. What I should or should not blog about. You know…if ya have something top say..then say it to me. Not to someone you think will tell me. Grow up and say it. IN fact the one person to comes to mind..has no problem sending mean spiteful e-mails…so I know they know how to do it. Just do it.
A great example…I have a certain person I have a lot of respect for. She wrote me and asked me if I was the one writing my own blogs. When I asked her why she asked that…she said the blog seemed so unlike me. We talked back and forth in e-mails and in the end..I respected and appreciated her opinion. And I hope in the end she understood that I am trying my best to figure out my way through this thing called Amy B after Kimkins.
So since I brought up Amy B after Kimkins. Let me share a few things about that topic. I am NOT mad because I am not allowed back in Kimkins. I will say that yes I was upset when I got banned. I was panicked when I could not go there anymore. Of course now when I visit there I can read but not post. In the beginning it seemed much harder then it actually has been. Many of my friends there made it easy for me to not be there. There was some surprise at how some people acted when they found out I would not be in group anymore. Three followed me and went to another site and we have continued our weight loss and support. The others decided that getting to goal was what was important and stayed at Kimkins. And in the end..that is their decision. They did what they needed to do..and that is what I am doing.
What does upset me is…those who KNOW the truth have stood by and stayed there . I could never stay knowing that my friends 17 year old son was being talked about …or used as a stab to hurt the mom. So if that is okay with you…then stay..but just know…we are no better then the company we keep. From this point on….let’s not pretend to be friends. Let’s be blunt…..Kimkins is where you want to be…even knowing the truth . Not just the truth of the hundred’s of lies, and legal woes. But on a more personal level….used a young man who fights everyday to be the best he can be. Heidi thinks he is made up….that I have used this lie to get something from people. That is such a slap in my face and anyone who loves or cares about Philip.
Today I am mad..I am upset….and hurt. I think that makes me human. I would much rather have these feelings and be true then be someone who only thinks out of “what can I do or get or cheat” today.
So from today on…I am just going to do the best I can to be honest and blunt. But I am not going to be walked all over anymore.
Just know that if you put it out there…it gets back. The funny or maybe I should say sad thing is….you can trust NO ONE. So be very careful who and what you are saying. I got some info in the last few days that made my mouth fly open. I had no idea these things had been said or thought by this person. I know this person has no idea that I know they said this..but guess what….I know. Is that a OMG thing? Nah…but it is important to me. And this is my blog. lol
Why is it…that anyone thinks they can tell me who I can blog about. One person that comes to mind…Poor Singinglass…oh please. She is as guilty as Heidi. No wonder she is on the front page. Hey speaking of front page…Laurala seemed so sweet and pure…nah..she seems to have some of the same mean streaks as Heidi. I know that seems mean….but guess what…it is true . One more time…ya gotta be careful what you say and who. In case you did not know it..NOTHING is private.
Now Heidi….I KNOW you could care less about anyone….I can honestly say I have never come across someone so mean and or sick. This may be far reaching and you may laugh…But keep your big mouth shut about my son. You are not good enough to even utter his name. Have you heard of slander? Keep it up Heidi. I know I know..you think haha…that is no big deal. Um…did ya have that same dumb butt laugh when Jeanessa asked for her money back and said she would sue you? Gosh..I bet you so wish you had given up that money. But guess what…too late now. Who is laughing now? Heidi…the answer is..EVERYONE but you.
And know what else would be well deserved? Well you know when you sent those mean PM and spoke about my hair etc. You were smart enough to not let me pay the rest or a new membership. But the last I heard…I do not need that to have a civil suit against you. Know what…I have medical records with your diet named over and over for months and months. I was not some bitter ex KK person going off to my DR. I was a active…stick up for KK and me being there women…who felt like crap and saw a list of doctors. Ya never know…I am pretty believable. Lab work and medical records do not lie. Unlike you.
Okay..I admit..this may be harsh. But it is the truth.

 

What is the BIG Deal? March 25, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 3:00 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I bet some of you may be wondering what LittleSina and Singinglass are connected. Well to the surprise of some and not to others…they are the same person. Now it is not the end of the world that Singinglass has a secret ID on some sites….I have a feeling many people do…No Amy B does not. I am Amy B wherever I go.

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So what is the big deal? The big deal is…Singinglass has really lost her mind. I use to think that Singinglass was over her head. I was worried about her. I thought Heidi Diaz was taking advantage of sweet innocent Singinglass. Oh Amy ….Will I ever learn? Ya know….I hope not. I hope that I always try to see the good and the innocent in people. Not everyone is sneaky and lying…not everything is a scheme.

Let me explain to you why I think it is so odd that Singinglass would post as LittleSina. Singinglass AKA LittleSina posted on LCF about Singinglass. LittleSina posted every post about Singinglass. She even made some rather rude comments about Heidi. Opps….is she going to be banned? I think Heidi should ban SingingLass for TOS. She came on to LCF and posted smack about not only herself ( so odd) but also Heidi. Remind me ladies….weren’t there some ladies banned from KK for posting much less on LCF? I say we demand for Heidi to follow her own screwed up , made up, rules. Ban Singinglass.

Below are the post Singinglass posted on LCF as LittleSina…

Singinglass’s posts as LittleSina

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
okay. i guess i will be first to post on this new thread because the other I posted my question on was closed? a little confused. Please look at my question and let me know if you all have already seen sl’s web page. sorry if i am bothering.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
okay.the web url isXXX ( removed by Amy B ..as to not help Heidi or Singinglass with more fraud)

sorry, i don’t know how to link it, does someone else know how to do that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
oh, i guess it linked just typing the address in? so never mind on someone else figuring it out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
i was afraid it would just be something you all saw a long time ago. i have’t been able to read everything, there is so much, sorry. baby keeps me busy.i don’t know if it was her singing. you would think if she could sing like that she would be off somewhere raking in bucks, not be over at kimkins. i know i would be trying to anyway, like american idol or something. i can’t tell if they are all the same voice? the last won kind of gave wierd chills though. is there a bride site for opera singers she got the files from? rofl.i didn’t understand the havenlore stuff?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
oh, sorry if it is old news. i wasn’t sure. is seemed interesting though and she looks different and smaller in those theater pictures. i think some look like they came from newspaper maybe? i don’t think whoever is singing in those files sounds like a wannabe, they sould like a real opera singer with all the really high high notes and different langauges, i just don’t think it is really sl. do the files sound like a different person in some of them to anyone else to?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
ha! sl found out people were looking at her page cause she now has a message to lcf on it and says she is putting the files up in different formats or something to make them play easier. she must be doing something to it right now because the players are all mismatched and not lined up and there are active x control pop ups. thats funny though that she put that message on there. i don’t care, i still don’t think the files are her no matter what format she puts them in.xxx…removed by Amy B , as to not help Heidi or Singinglass with anymore fraud.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
maybe heidi with some captian in it? it could be a theater prop or something though, who uses a flask in real life?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
then maybe it WAS sl in hedi’s lap!okay. a question, and again i have holes in what has been discussed, so sorry. has anyone ever checked to see if there are any family links with kimmer and sl? could they be related?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleSina View Post
what you all think of the posts between tt and sl on amyb’s blog?the size comparison pictures were interesting, thanks for showing us those.

A few things jump out to me in these post. First she talks about the baby keeping her up at night. That is odd to go so far in the lie that she says that. Maybe she is having more issues then we know.

And Singinglass brings up her own site . Then she post a welcome to LCF on her site. Then on my blog she post…..

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You all seem to treat me and any info on me like it is dirt or something—as seen by the recent traffic to my little web site with files and theatre pictures. I just am someone trying to lose weight like many of you are, I started completely as a volunteer on the site…it was christin who asked me to moderate. What you see is what you get—I answer questions and chronicle my loss on that site, that is it. I am not involved in any buiz aspects, financial, nor do I have any records or access on any of that. I did not know about most things until all of you did. I am there because I have friends, like helping, and am working on my life and health as well.

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That is so odd…..She is the one who gives the web page. She talks pretty bad about herself and Heidi. And then she complains with poor pitiful Singinglass that everyone is going to her page. That is way weird.

I swear Singinglass is as sneaky and cocky as Heidi is.

Just as a reminder…just last week Singinglass posted a question on my blog asking who Kimmer and Singinglass is. Same IP address as her other comments on my blog.

Ok let me ask…since Singinglass abused the TOS posting smack at LCF about Heidi…..She called Heidi a drunk in a round about way….flask and captain Morgan. Who thinks Heidi should ban Singinglass?

 

Feeling Like A Failure March 23, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 5:24 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

So today I feel like a failure. Harsh words . Harsh feelings. Disappointment in myself. But like I said in the start of my blog…this is me…my battle…the good, the bad and the ugly. Today my feelings are not great. So be gentle with your responses. lol

There are many different sides to Amy B. The side that knows I have accomplished almost 90 pounds of weight loss. The side that sees how far I have come. The side that catches a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thinks..wow who is that skinny girl. Who am I now? Am I different now 90 pounds less then I was 90 pounds heavier?

The reality of my weight loss is still very new to me. And since it is new to me…I fear daily that I will wake up and it will be a dream and I have not lost the weight or over night I will gain my weight back. Yes I know in reality I know that is not possible. But I still have these thought. Reality is one thing and emotions are another. Still work to be done in this area.

I am in a hard place with the whole debit with the Kimkins diet. Once again please no bashing comments. This is hard for me. I know that the diet is not very healthy. I know that it lead to very hard core emotional thoughts for me. It brought out very hard core habits for me , that I never can live up to daily. Do I think Kimkins diet plan is to blame 100%? NO. Do I think it is to blame? Yes. It was driven into me that less is best. It was driven in to my head for months that Heidi lost her weight so fast and was 118 to 122 pounds. It was driven in that she had kept her weight off for 5 to 6 years. And even harder to exit my brain is….Heidi’s quote. If I had to do it again I would do a fast for months and use Diet Coke. To this day in her post…Heidi acts as if she has lost her weight and is just one of “us” trying to re lose a few pounds that crept up on her. Sometimes for a split second I forget that she is lying. I forget that she has not lost her weight. I forget that she would go on and on about how a extra bite of this or that would cause havoc on the scale and ruin our weight loss and at the same time she was well over 300 pounds. Let me add Heidi being heavy is not what bothers me most. What bothers me….I , Amy B can not seem to get the lying Heidi and her words out of my paranoid “I am going to gain weight” head. I am upset with myself as much as Heidi Diaz.

So today was Easter. A holiday about the miracle of life and blessings. The most special holiday. Easter has nothing to do with food. Like most holidays WE make it about food. Which is part of my problem today. I took today as a excuse to go off plan. Is that the end of the world? NO. But it is in the Kimkins world. And even though I am not at kimkins any longer, some days my brain is. Today I feel in panic OMG what were you thinking mode. Wanna hear the most honest sad thought? I feel like by eating the stuff I did today I might as well of gained 50 pounds. I Had this BIG goal to be at 130 by April 5th ….that is not going to happen. I feel sad and a little desperate about that today. I tried to explain that to my DH today. Of course he did not understand. And in truth I do not either. Maybe some of you ex Kimkin ladies can relate. Maybe not. Maybe I am being dramatic. I hope I wake up tomorrow and start fresh. Today in my head I feel like I weigh 200 pounds. Odd how on plan and losing I feel Skinny…..Off plan for one day and I feel frumpy, out of control and heavy.

Now that last statement brings me to a interesting topic. Start fresh. What is that? What am I going to do to keep the weight off ? What am I going to do to make sure I do not gain my weight? I lost the weight in such a way that I now am worried I will not be able to get to goal and or keep the weight off.

So I could go on and on …but I think I said enough.

 

On My Mind March 22, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 8:35 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

Today I have had a heavy heart. I have felt that maybe I am doing more harm then good with my blog. I know that there are some people who I have a lot of respect for..have told me….that my blog seems harsh and so unlike the Amy B they have known in the past. That was hard to hear but deep down maybe they are right. I have always felt like I was a supportive type person. I would never go out of my way to hurt anyone or even cause them issues. That is just not my way of dealing with issues.

The whole Singinglass issue has really upset me. I THOUGHT maybe if some of us reached out her Singinglass…she would see the truth. I thought with enough people showing her that she had a place to go and people who cared…she might decide to do the right thing. Instead things went in a different way. I feel like Singinglass lied and tried to make certain people look really bad. The same person who was trying to help her most…she hung out to dry and called her a liar. When it was shown that indeed Jeannie had actually sent tons of supportive e-mails….Singinglass still choose to not tell the truth.

I must say I see more and more of a common “way” of Singinglass acting just like Heidi Diaz does. Singinglass is not the sweet innocent girl I THOUGHT she was. She seems to be mean spirited and cruel in some ways.

I was shocked today to find out how far Singinglass would go to be hurtful. There was a certain member on KK that was very rude and sneaky. I would get the rudest PM and e-mails from someone called Sweet Treats. This person seemed to really enjoy talking mean in PM’s about Philip and his medical issues. Does that remind you of anyone? wasn’t it Heidi that brought Philip and his issues into her battle with me? Sweet treats made sure to get “digs” into Philip and my skills of taking care of him…for weeks. There were messages posted to me on the Board.

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Re:Tippy Toes 5 Months, 1 Week ago
I think I have a question for you Amy. For some reason, it seems that every time I scan the café lately, you have a thread directed at various members of the staff, be it Kimmer, the new doctor, or now Tippy. The posts often are repeated questions you have asked from other places and threads, and earlier today I could have sworn I saw this exact word for word post elsewhere. Just kind of wierd that you kept a copy of it. Just, personally, it seems to me like you are trying to bait the staff into saying or doing something to somehow trap them or something, and are being really obvious about it if you think it is sly or clever. It especially was wierd how you kept hounding the Dr. over and over to see him, especially since he is obviously here in like an online consultant kind of role and other blogs and forums are trying so hard to find any info on him or see him in person. Please stop, just let the staff do their online roles here, online, without giving them loaded kind of fishy questions.Am I the only one, or have others noticed or felt this too? I am not someone to be mean or confrontational, but this just has been really bugging me every time I skim the forums.
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Messages like this were rude enough but then there were the personal ones were even harder to read.

Jeannie had PM me and asked me if I needed her to take care of the issues with Sweet Treats. I said no.to just let it die down. Imagine my surprise when Jeanie told me today that she had contacted the KK staff and found out ..sweet treats was Singinglass. Wow nothing like the admin of a site being sneaky enough to lash out under a fake name. and then attack a child and parenting skills in secret PM’s and e-mails.

I did some research today and found that the last post was to me…and the info is indeed Singinglass and her accounts.

The reason I bring this up is to say this…

Singinglass is NOT some poor lost soul in all this. She is a grown person who is FULLY aware of what she is doing. Her ways are as sneaky as Heidi Diaz’s. I am shocked now…to think those means post came from Singinglass. I am also surprised she has not learned to cover her track better.

So as of tonight…Singinglass is on her own. Sweet treats is on her own..and the list goes on. She is not innocent and she also is not able to say she was not warned. She knows what she is involved in. And she has decided to stay at Kimkins and be employed and paid with a con artist money. That is her decision and she has made it.

I do hope her sister and the baby are going to be okay. I for one hate the idea of anyone being sick of having medical concerns form being born too early.

I am sorry you decided to handle things the way you have. There is no need to e-mail me any nasty e-mails…I know when it is you or Heidi..no matter what name or e-mails you use. I had hoped that would do the right thing. And maybe you still can.

 

Singinglass Has A Message for us… March 21, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 8:46 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

I always think that we can be whoever we want to be online. It is a easy way for someone to be who they really want to be. It is a way to say or do things we may not be able or willing to do in the “real world”. But one thing that can mess that plan up is….we always seems to show our true colors . Deep down I think everyone has certain characteristics that shine through even we do not want them to.

There seems to be a common thought that Singinglass is some young, naive, vulnerable person in this whole Kimkins mess. Many of us were very concerned that she was over her head and if we reached out to her…she would see the light and save herself. But the more I see everyone reaching out to Singinglass the more I see a side to her that is not very nice.

Maybe it is time for us to accept that Singinglass may just be the perfect co defender for Heidi Diaz. Maybe she is exactly where she wants to be. She knows the facts. She looked like a fool on the Fox show. She sat up there and defended Kimmer and within minutes found out she was Heidi Diaz. She sat there and said that the web site was changed and a new explanation was on it. That was a lie. She now knows that everything from the name to the goal stories to the money to foster kids and on and on…it is a LIE. She even has the benefit of Heidi being forced to tell the truth in a deposition. So I will repeat it. Singinglass knows the truth. She stays because she wants to. She is responsible for helping keep Kimkins up and running daily. She herself said she was a independent person. I say she is just as guilty.

She came on my bog under the same IP address and posted who is Singinglass? Who is Kimmer comments? I swear I think she has the same issues Heidi had about what her name is. Singinglass….do you really not know who you are?

Then under same IP posted that Jeannie had ONLY written her a Merry Christmas one line e-mail. She called Jeannie out and said she lied about e-mailing her. And when the e-mails were posted she did not even have the nerve to comment. She just went on and on about the timing of my blog. As if I had any idea her sister was in pre term labor, Which btw I hope she is doing better. Thank Goodness the baby is at a good stage to be born if necessary. Then again poor timing seems to be a natural with Heidi. She loves when people are down or worried ..then she attacks. Opps..I mean has others do her dirty work for her. We all know Heidi does not do her own work. She sets people up to do it for her. I have a feeling Singinglass better not ever sign any forms Heidi wants her to. Gosh knows what they are.

I got this e-mail this morning. The person it came from is someone who I have NEVER heard her speak a mean word against anyone. She does not gossip and tries really hard to stay out of any of the drama. So when I read her e-mail , her words were just another example of the truth about Singinglass.

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Amy,

On another subject, I read your blog today and wanted to make you aware of something, that you may not have known. Delaney is one manipulative lady. I don’t gossip and don’t make statements like that lightly. You know me. I don’t tend to speak negatively of others. If anyone thinks that she is the one being manipulated, they are wrong.

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And as a ending for this…for all of you who took your time and emotional energy to try to help Singinglass. For those who reached out and offered her support . She has a message for us.

Watch SingingLass Lose Project ~ 2 Hours, 43 Minutes ago
Remind me not to read any blogs or anything else out there right now. The last thing myself and my family needs right now is the crap they are spewing. It takes a lot to make me actually angry, but today I was….just with the combination of what is going on, and then their stuff….yeash. It may not be lady-like, but all I can say or show to all of that right now is a middle finger.

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I think this makes her position very clear. Not a smart move Singinglass.