Sometimes I am not sure who I am. Do you ever have days like that? One minute I feel good about the whole KK thing and then the next I feel loss. I think I wanted something from this blog that was to replace the feeling I got from being in KK. Here comes me being blunt and open. At KK ..people liked me and respected me. It was a nice feeling. Do I miss that? Yes I do. Ok I really do.
Here in my blog I find it hard to know how I am suppose to be. If I am one way then it looks good or bad. If I am another then I am this or that. I am Amy B. I have done good and bad things in the whole time at KK. But one thing I know I did is try to be honest.
So my blog is going to change before it even has really started. I am going to TRY to stop worrying about what people do or do not think. I am going to do something much more important. I am going to reach out to KK ladies. Banned ones and active ones. I can help them while I help me.
A new change also is..if I have a e-mail that I still have the original FULL e-mails with all contact info and dates etc..I will post that with full info. If I only have the “meat” of the e-mails then I will post the parts I have with the time period I think it came from. And I will make it clear that it is not a full e-mail. Many times I would copy and paste e-mails from Heidi to different people. With that being said…I can not always assure that I have the FULL mailing info etc. That will be said upfront. BY trying to be complete where I could not be. I made a mistake . Mistakes need to be addressed up front . Because mistakes lead to questions. Questions lead to mistrust. And my life has been filled with worry and mistrust of Heidi for months. So I have fixed any blog entries that do not follow my new complete or noted rule. This was done on purpose. Not to trick anyone or hide anything.
I never want there to be any reason for me to be doubted or not trusted. To be blunt. I had talked with some people on LCF long before being banned. They can vouch for me way before all of this. They have not because during that time period I wanted privacy. With a blog that is over now.
So no more acting one way or another. Things are hard. I am who I am. And in this world people never can please anyone or everyone.
I think I wanted my blog to be good or great . I joke and laugh and tease. Some days I cry and bitch. I am me. And it is just going to be my blog.
Oh and one more thing…I should know better then say what I am going to post and answer. As a mom of a very sick child. Some days I do not even have time for a shower. That is one nice thing about having this blog. It takes me away from that part of my life.
I am working on my answer to the chicken diet ? It will be posted todat. And yes I just broke my first rule . lol
If anyone has any concerns or questions . E-mail me..firstname.lastname@example.org