AmyB: Food For Thought

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of AmyB WOE

Not Being Real February 29, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 1:54 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes I am not sure who I am. Do you ever have days like that? One minute I feel good about the whole KK thing and then the next I feel loss. I think I wanted something from this blog that was to replace the feeling I got from being in KK. Here comes me being blunt and open. At KK ..people liked me and respected me. It was a nice feeling. Do I miss that? Yes I do. Ok I really do.

Here in my blog I find it hard to know how I am suppose to be. If I am one way then it looks good or bad. If I am another then I am this or that. I am Amy B. I have done good and bad things in the whole time at KK. But one thing I know I did is try to be honest.

So my blog is going to change before it even has really started. I am going to TRY to stop worrying about what people do or do not think. I am going to do something much more important. I am going to reach out to KK ladies. Banned ones and active ones. I can help them while I help me.

A new change also is..if I have a e-mail that I still have the original FULL e-mails with all contact info and dates etc..I will post that with full info. If I only have the “meat” of the e-mails then I will post the parts I have with the time period I think it came from. And I will make it clear that it is not a full e-mail. Many times I would copy and paste e-mails from Heidi to different people. With that being said…I can not always assure that I have the FULL mailing info etc. That will be said upfront. BY trying to be complete where I could not be. I made a mistake . Mistakes need to be addressed up front . Because mistakes lead to questions. Questions lead to mistrust. And my life has been filled with worry and mistrust of Heidi for months. So I have fixed any blog entries that do not follow my new complete or noted rule. This was done on purpose. Not to trick anyone or hide anything.

I never want there to be any reason for me to be doubted or not trusted. To be blunt. I had talked with some people on LCF long before being banned. They can vouch for me way before all of this. They have not because during that time period I wanted privacy. With a blog that is over now.

So no more acting one way or another. Things are hard. I am who I am. And in this world people never can please anyone or everyone.

I think I wanted my blog to be good or great . I joke and laugh and tease. Some days I cry and bitch. I am me. And it is just going to be my blog.

Oh and one more thing…I should know better then say what I am going to post and answer. As a mom of a very sick child. Some days I do not even have time for a shower. That is one nice thing about having this blog. It takes me away from that part of my life.

I am working on my answer to the chicken diet ? It will be posted todat. And yes I just broke my first rule . lol

If anyone has any concerns or questions . E-mail


7 Responses to “Not Being Real”

  1. barbarab2 Says:

    Amy, you’re doing a fine job with the blog and I hope it helps you to analyze your feelings. As for helping out other KK women, that is a warm and generous commitment, especially with all you have to deal with at this time. I am praying for Philip and for you and your whole family. We all really like it when you come by LCF.

  2. katinsac Says:

    I agree with are doing great. Just say whatever you want in whatever way you want. I’m sure just putting it down on paper releases a lot of stress you didn’t even know you had concerning KK. We at LCF are all here to support you and anyone you can save from KK. Please know those of us who were there know exactly what you are going through right now concerning KK.

    Thoughts and paryers for you, your family and of coures Philip.

  3. ginger55 Says:

    Amy, I’m glad you are caring less about what people think of you. All that matters is that you are happy with yourself and the words you are posting on your blog. Maybe the words won’t show you in a perfect light all the time, but at least they will be honest. And that’s worth alot. I admire you for wanting to help other kk people. Especially with everything else you are going through. Prayers always for your family and Philip.

  4. sweeteater Says:

    Amy, this is YOUR blog. Do it the way YOU want to. That will be fine. I know you are dealing with so much right now. Just take your time. Take care of yourself and your family.

    Hey, we respect you at LCFs, too! 🙂

  5. yustyucky Says:

    Hey Amy. Look, you don’t owe me or anybody else, anywhere, an explanation ok? It’s not worth having a nervous breakdown over — because Heidi the Horrible is not worth having a nervous breakdown over.

    My personal opinion, feel free to disregard, ok? my personal opinion is that everybody needs to at least try and do what we can to get any relevant information into the hands of the Law — and your case, that means I do feel that it would be doing a good thing if you would please make sure you send to John Tiedt and to the state and federal authorities copies, screen shots, photocopies, whatever, of any and all correspondence from Heidi.

    Correspondence from her is evidence.

    Well you probably already know this, but I wanted to make sure just in case. And like I said, you don’t owe me or anybody at LCF or anywhere else an explanation — especially if it’s going to be too much for you to bear under the circumstances of your life right now.

    I’m sorry for asking about the MCD — a bunch of us want to solve some of these Kimkins-related mysteries, sure, but certainly don’t wish to cause you any extra stress by making you feel like you’re under any obligation to explain. This will all sort itself out one way or the other, sooner or later, and in the meantime just please make sure you send copies of all Heidi correspondence to John T and the Law.

    Thanks again, and best wishes, truly.
    Mimi a.k.a. Yust Yucky

  6. 2big4mysize Says:

    sounds like a great plan helping folk inside get out will do a lot to shutdown and I’m sure that is what you want too.

  7. butterflyfawn Says:

    Dearest Amy,

    you are a cherished person with a heart of Gold in the purest sense. Know that we are always praying for your little one.


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