AmyB: Food For Thought

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of AmyB WOE

Few more thoughts February 28, 2008

Filed under: Kimkins — amyb1569 @ 8:55 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I wanted to add a few more thoughts about my “Hard Questions” post before I move on. It was hard to post that last night. I think it made me look weak and desperate. Maybe at that time I was. Maybe the fact she gave me a free membership played a part. Maybe because I SO needed to believe that I could really lose the weight. There are many reasons. But I find this small part of me that THINKS it is because I wanted to like Kimmer ( now known to be Heidi). I wanted to be like her. ( Dear God that thought now makes me cringe). I wanted to be strong and lose the weight and be beautiful . Just like Kimmer pretended she was. Up until the 2/08 banning…even after all the TRUTHS and the MEAN and CRUEL things I have seen her do, directed at me. I think there was a small part of me that liked her. That thought this morning could just be because I am worn down. There are some serious issues going on with my son. So I may not be at my best this week.

One thing Heidi is very good at….she will push you as far as she can and then will send you a PM or a e-mail and play dumb or so nice it makes you want to puke. Or some days it made me want to believe in her.

The idea that in one nasty e-mail she gave me a list of do not do this or else…and two or three days later..she sent a e-mails saying…opps…I had no idea you were banned. And used the pathetic over used excuse that she is not computer savvy and hit the wrong button. Oh Heidi we all know you fondle that ban button daily. It is your control. My mom looked at me when I was crying and upset and said…my gosh it is like a cult. That is a good way to explain my relationship with Heidi.

It is so funny how worried she was about what I said in open post. She knew I had some things going on..My hair…my thryoid…and the VIt D issues. She cared more about me being HUSHED up then she did my medical issues. She even said to NOT mention what my DR said about adding foods back in. So she was well aware I saw a DR. Where was my caring leader.

So yes I begged Heidi. I think I really begged and told her oh please I need Kimkins and maybe I even said her. I bet she loved that. I panicked. I went back. And now I am banned. Goodness it feels good. I feel FREE and lighter then I have in a long time. I may sound bitter. Maybe I am. But this is the story. Would I still be there if she had not banned me? Yes I would. Like I said…I am telling it like it is. Sad but Mad. That should of been the name for my blog…lol

The next question comes from Yust Yucky….

They write.

Would you please explain if you are the Amy B that is a member at the Magic Chicken Diet.

Okay …Let me do some mommy things. Let me pull some e-mails that deal with that. My facts. lol. And today I will answer that question. Anyone interested in that subject?

Advertisements
 

6 Responses to “Few more thoughts”

  1. prudentiablog Says:

    Amy, dear, sweet Amy. You are what you wanted to be, and what Heidi will NEVER be … you ARE Smart, you are Strong, you are Successful at losing weight, you are Beautiful. And you did NONE of that BECAUSE of Heidi. You did it IN SPITE OF Heidi. You did ALL of that without becoming bitter, without neglecting your family, without becoming in any way like her.

    I promise you, she is going to try to make you feel guilty to silence you. Don’t let her do it, Amy. Don’t. Don’t let her use anyone else to make you feel guilty, either.

    Now I understand. I get it. I also know what I’m going to start blogging about. Thank you for being so transparent. Oh, gosh, I so get this now …

    It is all going to be all right. It is going to take time, but it WILL be all right.

    Hugs,
    Prudentia

  2. kimkinscam Says:

    Amy
    I hope you don’t mind that I have linked to your blog in my most recent post. I think your story, so far, is SO enlightening and REAL!!! Heidi is a MONSTER! and will do anything to manipulate and control others. You have found your way out (weather by your own doing… or hers). I’m glad you feel relief and “lightness” – It’s a very HEAVY load to carry round (300+ pounds and all! HA HA) I’m just happy you feel better!! You deserve it! As Prudentia said above, you are a SMART, STRONG, SUCCESSFUL AND BEAUTIFUL person. Heidi never deserved to have you at her site. And Prudentia’s right…. it WILL BE ALRIGHT!!! You will be OK, now that you are out of that “hell hole” and away from her influence.

    My heart goes out to you and your struggles with your son. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you only the best!

  3. bluesuederebel Says:

    Amyb – I am so glad that you decided to put your experience in writing for all of us who have been manipulated by Kimkins. For myself, I was desperate to lose the weight. I had a dad with cancer and a mother who was a stroke patient. After he died, I was the caretaker for my mother along with running the family business, trying to be a good wife, etc., but I was by her like you are by Philip, her needs came first. In fact, everybody else’s need came before mine.

    After my mother died, I felt so much guilt although I really don’t know why. Then, I woke up one day and realized that I had to get the weight off or end up like her. For the last few years of her life, she was tiny, but she had fought her weight all her life. She had a heart attack and numerous strokes. I found Kimkims by looking for quick weight loss. I was so thankful that I thought I had finally found the answer and it seemed so simple. I started in April 2007, so I was kind of lost for support when the site went down, so I read all I could at LCF’s. By reading there, I realized pretty quick that Heidi had problems. I never did contact her in any way, I never really even posted at KK’s, I just read and used the people as my support. Then when some of the main members who provided support disappeared without a trace, I knew there was a more serious problem, and the rest so they say, is history.

    Just remember that good things have come out of your experience with Kimkins and Heidi. You have all these people who don’t even know you, but they respect you and yes, they even love you. You have so many admirers and friends from this experience and Heidi will be left with none.

    P.S. My thoughts on your second banning… I think she hit the button when you posted about a “swap up” plan. It seems like you were gone after that.

  4. 2big4mysize Says:

    Makes you wonder how many other Kimkin.con folk got banned just cause they posted about thier health issues when Kimmer was srubbing the site cause she thought the lawsuit would be about medical issues.

    2BIG

  5. mayberryfan Says:

    When you really examine why you liked Kimkins, was it Heidi, or was it the people you knew there? Heidi doesn’t offer anyone true support, she has no feelings for anyone but herself, so I doubt it was really her keeping you there.

    You look amazing in the pictures you’ve posted and that’s why Kimmer hated you. Jealousy, nothing more. She is a shell of a human being. And, she can never be the wonderful, warm, caring and genuinely nice person you are.

    Magic chickens? We’ll see!

  6. mrsmenopausal Says:

    Amy, it *is like a cult. I doubt you’re the only one who has been manipulated like this in an attempt to hide negative side effects of the diet, either. I was banned just asking how I could post without getting banned because I had some side effects I wanted to ask about. I never even got the chance.
    Heidi knew banning you the first time was a big mistake. There were too many people who were shocked and upset by your first banning. She knew better than to let it stay that way. I’m surprised she banned you this time considering what has happened between the two of you. What she did was blatant disregard for your health and wellbeing. All she cared about was shutting you up and controlling you and you have evidence of that. I hope you’ll share that with the lawyer.
    I’m SO glad you’re out of there, feeling lighter. I can relate to that feeling. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself swinging through one emotion after another. It’s par for the course. You will gradually feel much better. It honestly happens. Those of us who were members there and have been banned or left on our own have gone through our own version of what you’re experiencing now. Don’t feel badly about how you’re feeling. We all honestly understand.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s