I wanted to add a few more thoughts about my “Hard Questions” post before I move on. It was hard to post that last night. I think it made me look weak and desperate. Maybe at that time I was. Maybe the fact she gave me a free membership played a part. Maybe because I SO needed to believe that I could really lose the weight. There are many reasons. But I find this small part of me that THINKS it is because I wanted to like Kimmer ( now known to be Heidi). I wanted to be like her. ( Dear God that thought now makes me cringe). I wanted to be strong and lose the weight and be beautiful . Just like Kimmer pretended she was. Up until the 2/08 banning…even after all the TRUTHS and the MEAN and CRUEL things I have seen her do, directed at me. I think there was a small part of me that liked her. That thought this morning could just be because I am worn down. There are some serious issues going on with my son. So I may not be at my best this week.
One thing Heidi is very good at….she will push you as far as she can and then will send you a PM or a e-mail and play dumb or so nice it makes you want to puke. Or some days it made me want to believe in her.
The idea that in one nasty e-mail she gave me a list of do not do this or else…and two or three days later..she sent a e-mails saying…opps…I had no idea you were banned. And used the pathetic over used excuse that she is not computer savvy and hit the wrong button. Oh Heidi we all know you fondle that ban button daily. It is your control. My mom looked at me when I was crying and upset and said…my gosh it is like a cult. That is a good way to explain my relationship with Heidi.
It is so funny how worried she was about what I said in open post. She knew I had some things going on..My hair…my thryoid…and the VIt D issues. She cared more about me being HUSHED up then she did my medical issues. She even said to NOT mention what my DR said about adding foods back in. So she was well aware I saw a DR. Where was my caring leader.
So yes I begged Heidi. I think I really begged and told her oh please I need Kimkins and maybe I even said her. I bet she loved that. I panicked. I went back. And now I am banned. Goodness it feels good. I feel FREE and lighter then I have in a long time. I may sound bitter. Maybe I am. But this is the story. Would I still be there if she had not banned me? Yes I would. Like I said…I am telling it like it is. Sad but Mad. That should of been the name for my blog…lol
The next question comes from Yust Yucky….
Would you please explain if you are the Amy B that is a member at the Magic Chicken Diet.
Okay …Let me do some mommy things. Let me pull some e-mails that deal with that. My facts. lol. And today I will answer that question. Anyone interested in that subject?